Professional organizer answers your questions from a Live Facebook Coaching hour with Julie Coraccio.
First, Happy 350th Episode Clear Your Clutter Inside & Out! Thanks to all that have watched and listened.
Today’s episode was taken from two Facebook Live coaching sessions where Julie answered the burning questions of the audience.
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Pay attention to where you’re challenged
Think outside the box when you can
Consider all of organizing and not just one part
Understand all areas of life that need some clutter cleared
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Certified life coach, author & award-winning professional life organizer Julie Coraccio shares steps and tips to support you in creating the life you choose, deserve and desire through decluttering your life, mindfulness and how to organize your life.
About Clear Your Clutter Inside & Out
Clutter is stuck stagnant energy and prevents you from creating the life you choose, desire and deserve. We discuss clutter in all its forms: energetic, spiritual, emotional, mental & physical, relationships, health, finances and more. We share tips and take action steps for clutter free living and how to organize your life and death with end of life planning. We’re thinking outside the box on areas where people might not realize where clutter is blocking them. When we remove clutter from our lives we can discover our passions, lead the extraordinary lives we are all meant to live and share our gifts with the world.
Transcript Professional Organizer Answers Your Questions
Julie Coraccio 0:02
Today on clear your clutter inside now, we’re answering your questions about clearing clutter and getting organized. What are your burning questions about organizing? Wherever you found yourself stumped when decluttering Do you find yourself ready to quit and not sure what your next steps should be? Learn how to overcome some challenges as we continue our month focusing on teamwork. Do you control your clutter? Or does your clutter control you? unclear your clutter inside and out. We’ll teach you awareness as well as action steps to create change in your life. Come on. Let’s get started. Happy 300 and 50th episode clear your clutter inside now. The huge milestone came a little bit earlier because I did a couple of the special Corona files episodes. I just want to say thank you, thank you, thank you to all that watch and listen, whether it’s on iTunes or Google Play or watching on YouTube. I’m very appreciative of it. If you’ve been enjoying it, I’d love if you share an episode or rate and review and spread the love. This has been a complete labor of love for me. I learned that most podcasts I think don’t make it past seven episodes. So they start and then quit after seven episodes. So 350 is definitely a milestone. I wanted to do something I try like hundred I took clips and then I can’t remember I do with 250. And I always try when it’s kind of a big number. So this what I wanted to do for this one was I put together a couple q&a sessions. This was from all this month, the live coaching sessions that I did in April in May thought, Wow, we have I’m biased. But all of you are the best. I mean, any of you watching listening have have such great questions. And so I thought, you know what? Some of these questions might support someone, they might help them, they would have thought too vast. And I mentioned, you know, there’s one question I’ve never been asked before. And I’ve definitely been asked things in a different manner. So it was great to have it. Keep me on my toes is usual, it’s kind of off the top of my head. And, and so I’m thinking about the question trying to answer and then we’ll come back a little bit back and forth, because I’d say, Hey, does that sound right to you? And then there will be, I will answer something else and come back when the person answers. So anyway, I hope that you find great benefit. These were two episodes that I put together so a little longer, but I believe that we all met what we’re need to hear and so hopefully this will spark some answers for you. Good morning, good afternoon rose. How can I mindfully keep relatively organized, I have a severely autistic teen son’s room, and the rest of the house when, when a violent rage often breaks, furniture, child locks, locks and up ends the order of the house. It’s very chaotic life here, even before the pandemic, you know, Rose, my heart goes out to you, because that has to be an incredibly stressful situation. And I hope that you have support that can help you at home and just for your sanity that you have someone that you can talk to. That’s, you know what? That’s a very interesting question. And the first time I’ve been asked that, I guess the best thing seems to break in furniture and child locks.
I’m trying to
go through my mind I think probably if it’s possible, one of the things I’m thinking of, can you find furniture one that doesn’t break because then you have the expensive repair. and replacing it something like, you know, kind of those soft couches, things of that nature. I mean, it’s hard like a bookcase would be something that’s wood and that couldn’t break as well. What I think what what I’m feeling right for you off the top of my head is I hope that you have an area where he cannot get to. And the thing that I’m thinking of in my own house that I have is a I have a sacred space where I have things like crystals, hey Cheryl, I have things like crystals and I have it’s kind of a sacred space where I can go meditate just journal and think about things. I would hope rows that you can come up with a space that your own where nothing can be touched, even if it’s something that you’ve put in a little box that you keep in maybe your closet, and then when you have spare time you pull out and as a way that you can honor yourself. I think that that would be something that just kind of centered Just for you that sacred and that can’t be touched the, you know, the breaking the furniture, I would think whatever you could do I mean, you’re that’s a real challenge if, if he can get out of a room and break a lock, I would say just do the best you can. I mean is much as you can declare and simplify, that’s why I’m gonna make it easier on you. And because you’ll have less stuff to maintain, tell me a little bit else rose about what’s going on. So I can maybe give you some more feedback and, and give you some tips to help me the big thing I really feel is getting that sacred space for you as well as having less stuff if you have less stuff and it’s least likely to be broken. And then I don’t know if you’d also have an option, you know, of storing things. Is there a certain area that he can’t get to where you could store things that are precious or not breakable? I don’t know if it would be other things that are floating through my mind. I’m not sure if they would work for your situations. For example, if you say you have books, and instead of having a bookcase where he could throw them around, or do something like that, could you keep them in a container, and then put the lid on. So that’s something again, you could probably dump that out, but a plastic container might be harder to break. So Rosa, she’s definitely been the clutter for years. Good job. Your large master closet is getting filled. Besides writing notes, this household of five is getting complicated. Yeah, if you have five people in a household, that’s really, really a challenge. But what I’d say to you and I did a video on this last week of working together as a family, so you say you’ve been decluttering but what about everyone in the family? Have they been doing that? Or is it mainly you because if you’re the only one do it That, that means other people’s rooms, other people’s stuff aren’t getting too cluttered. And so besides writing notes, gee, I don’t know if that’s your saying to other hand off their kids or spouse saying, hey, let stuff go. But I’d encourage you to do and again, give me more feedback. So I can make it as specific as possible. What I’d encourage you to do is have everyone commit to a weekend, you know, and that doesn’t mean you have to work 10 hours straight, but say, lots of love, maybe ask them what are best ways to what are best ways to have the family declutter. Definitely working together as a family. So you say, hey, this weekend, we’re going to commit to this. And one of the things that’s really important, don’t have any judgment. Don’t guilt anyone you know, I’m going to say don’t approach this. Like I’ve been the only one to clarify for years. I’m over it. I know that that’s frustrated for us. you’re frustrated. We get your frustration out here. So what you can do is say, okay, we’re going to commit to this weekend. And what I will tell you because you’ve been doing it is make a priority list. So what’s most important, you know, is a kitchen disaster?
I share I’ll get to Cheryl’s kitchen. I’ll share, I’ll get to your question. Second, let me finish roses. So I would say make a priority list. Like you’re not going to get everything done in the weekend. But what do you think like is it the family room? Because everyone hangs out there? Is it the kitchen because the kitchen is a hot mess and you’re doing takeout and not eating? Well, so because you’ve done this, you’re gonna have to take the lead. So you figure out what is the priority? What are we going to work on this weekend? Everyone’s involved no shaming, no blaming. You can get snacks so people don’t wander off. You can say okay, this is our schedule 10 to 12 we do clutter we take a half an hour break for lunch. So when we do clutter 1232 for taking a little break, set up a schedule, and then set up a game plan. And so for instance, you might say say if you’re doing The kitchen, then you say that any expired spice goats any expired food in the cabinet goes so that way you have a parameter so we don’t have to spend time like, oh, should we do that no mom said it’s expired, let’s let it go. And that you would get set those parameters and let me I’m gonna answer Cheryl’s question and then I’m going to see what she has to say and then stay on those rows and give me some feedback and if I was tackling what you’re looking for, Cheryl says I’m the most impatient person I know. selling my house and moving to Las Vegas made me crazy. My patience has improved and I’m growing by leaps and bounds. I no longer grit my teeth lose my temper and I’m learning to talk things out. That is awesome. That is awesome. Cheryl, because you, you’ll have to if you’re interested, listen to the first part because one of the lessons I learned about myself is my patients in some area is the example I use with someone that posted something factually incorrect. They said no COPPA deaths had happened in North Carolina and I’m like that’s factually wrong. And and I’m tired of people not willing to, to do research or think on their own. And I’m done with people who spread misinformation. So that is huge, no longer so congratulations. That’s really good. I’m very proud of you. You are doing a great job. And keep with that. And I think selling a house and moving would make anyone crazy. So kudos to you. That’s very awesome. So I think that’s great. I think it’s really important and that’s one of the goals that I hope I know, since it’s been almost two months, I’m getting a little stir crazy. And I still go out to the grocery store once a week and we’ve just really limited everything and until my breathing gets better not exercising, but I just hope so I understand that people are getting stir crazy. I just hope and why I wanted to do this Talk about this today is because I see people getting stuck, not moving forward. And again, no judgment. But my hope is, and I shared this in one of the earlier episodes I did about this, my hope is that when I was laid off when I lived in Los Angeles for nine months, and I feel like I couldn’t move and I feel like I spun my wheels for nine months, I think I was unemployed for nine months, it was a big chunk of change. And so I didn’t want anyone else when I learned from that lesson, like I never want to do that again. And so my hope is that people instead of staying stuck, or not doing anything or just being out of sorts can step back for a moment and have some clarity through all this. I do not discount that people are struggling. I do not discount the challenges of everyone but that’s about to me finding what good is coming out of the session. situation, you know, families are getting together to more there’s less pollution, you know, all these things are really important. So that’s kind of kind of my hope but kudos to you Cheryl. Those are awesome thing. No long gritting your teeth. That’s definitely huge. And I hope you’re doing okay out in Vegas because I just read about them this morning. So, sending you lots of love and light. Some Life is good too. I love life is good t shirts. And so today’s I’ll show that I should show that beginning which is believe there is love. I had posted in a group to get feedback. And that was really interesting because you learn and one of the things I said I always thanked everyone for the perspective, the words of wisdom and those that showed me compassion. It’s again, fascinating to me when you step back and read what people have to say on social media because you can really learn a lot like some people Just had zero compassion for me and just couldn’t even see my perspective and again it is what it is. I really tried to not waste time
on social media responding to it you know it’s not my job and make people open their minds and hearts I try I hope I’m
hope that I’ve planted a seed with some people but
it can be a challenge so rose no i’m not i’m no I’m only wanting to clutter here and master the household that’s the complication that kid takes all my time it no respect because schools closed and his violence is up. Okay. For them Cheryl, comment, it might seem trite, but I’ve learned to do my hair again. Cheryl I’m with you. I’ve been using Hana and I’m bad. I always miss this area by my ears always miss that. So rose had a good game plan for me to instill overall my household is quite organized, but it’s up and When I need to move something important quickly, sometimes I forget where I saved it to it’s just a kind of constant, appended household, I’d like to find a new regular pattern to Okay, so a couple thoughts one, this is a special time, you know, your child will be in school again. I don’t know anything about the violence, I get that, you know, probably some stir crazy. Have you tried anything like, I’m a huge fan. I have lavender. And I would just simply do this. I don’t know if that’s too weird for you’re open to it. And I don’t know very little about autism. I don’t know if there’s something I’ve seen. I’m a huge animal person. I’ve we just had the animal adoption. I did. I believe the young man was autistic. And it’s really wonderful because she shares pictures and they adopted the cat. And the cat and this young man are best buddies, and they sleep together and it’s and I’ve seen this with dogs too, that they really have a calming effect. So I don’t know if you’re an open anything like that, but I’ll share those thoughts. Again Cheryl awesome about the hair. I think that’s amazing. Rose says this is good game plan for me ever house quite ours when you need to do something important if something important Yeah, forget where you save it. So something that you might want to do. So again, you have to understand that this is only temporary. I don’t know if you if schools ended and you’ll do something that summer, but then create a map, like what I always suggest to people is i didn’t i don’t know if you can pack up things. Something that might help you in a temporary situation is packing up things and putting them in the garage and labeling them and then creating a map. So I know in the garage, we have, we just have like a shelf, but I know that those have Christmas decorations. They have empty boxes like for our TV. And so if you know where everything is and then if he’s you know, continuing to get violent pack things up, make little map Label so you know where everything is. Okay, so then I want to get your longtime question. Given this child how do you keep mementos for him for us without adding bad energy? Because our times are hard. It’s been hard for years not much fun parenting them off. Oh, my heart goes out to you. Okay, the couple things you can do well first of all bad energy I have no I’ve done if you look at my podcast, I’ve done an episode on space clearing. I don’t have any Sage with me here but one thing you know that might be good for you is Clear. Clear the energy of the house. So you can do different things like say if you can’t have photograph because he might tear this up. Can you do a digital a digital photo frame?
Sorry, I think of the word there a digital photo frames that have memories again, like I don’t know if that’s you could put that somewhere so you couldn’t harm it. You know, there’s something like, could you create I don’t know. Kind of what memories already like if you had different clothes, like I had a friend who created a quilt from all their old t shirts, instead of having, you know, t shirts from 2030 years ago and that were getting holes, they created the quilt. So it’s something they use and has the memory. So something like that might be an option. Tell me a little bit more about momentum. And then you know what, I would encourage you as much support as you need. Is there a parent group in your area for parents with autistic people? See if there are some nonprofits or organizations that have resources? And then you know, what I’d encourage you to maybe there are people that I have and I interviewed someone and if you go to my YouTube channel, it was it should still be there. And they talked about finding the gifts of autism and the gifts that people bring and, and kind of switching that thinking so maybe that will help you. It’s not too dissimilar. Prior diminisher problems by any stretch of the imagination, but just perhaps as a different perspective. So let me know a little bit more about momentos and we’ll talk about that. So Cheryl doing good living in a condo the size of postage ship requires so much patience. Gosh, I bet especially now, but wanted to come out and buy a house and be done. I took my son’s advice and decided to wait until things settle it’s a huge concession got here the day Oh, wow. The day before the shelter in place. I had a meltdown which was selfish took many steps back okay, that I’m gonna I don’t think that was selfish at all. You’re human. I had a meltdown the other day and I was like, yeah, been almost two months. I’m gonna cut myself some slack. So I encourage you to cut yourself some slack. First of all, it’s a huge Colorado to Las Vegas. That’s a big that’s a big that’s a huge move. It’s not like you were, you know, a drive away in 45 minutes like I did. So cut yourself some slack. You then the day before shelter Come on. You’re in a new place. You’re in a really confined space. Be gentle with yourself you’re doing a good job. Do you speak finally? Or critically to yourself? Are you always trying to control people, events or outcomes? how supportive is a company you keep ready to release dress and embrace tranquility. get control of your clutter. Your clutter doesn’t control you. reclaim time, money, sanity and resources, emotional gut clutter 365 journal prompts, support you in clearing your emotional clutter free gift with purchase to support you even more and your journey to the clutter your life. Okay, so then rose the scent. Distraction is so clever. He likes to smell perfume gets up close and personal. Oh, that’s good. And you know what? I’m just going to tell you the essential oils I use this is one that I found in the store. Now, but I love I don’t know where you’re located rows because you can order them online but they’re called Eden’s garden. And they have I have I like Eden’s garden because it’s not a multi level marketing setup. And again, people do that. I respect that it’s just not for me and and so they’re really affordable that way, especially if you know, what kind of sense he likes and they have well this is the one I recommended at the beginning of this so it’s called thieves and I made hand sanitizer with this and I believe on Eden’s garden called fighting five. And I know I’ve read things that people like essential oils, homemade sanitize doesn’t work. I don’t take that point of view, the thieves and fighting five were the oils that they use during the plague. And so when they had to get the bodies, they put these oils and you know, put their handkerchief on and go out and we’re able to not die. So check out Eden’s garden. I think that that’s great. And you know, they’re really inexpensive. And I think they’re good quality oils and then that way and they actually just did it. You can get on their email list and they did a little blog post, which I need to read, but it was like, how can you tell make sure you’re getting good quality? oil? So I thought that that was really interesting, but yeah, definitely try. Try some different sense. Let me know rose, if those suggestions help and Cheryl, I hope you are being kind to yourself. Tell me what else is going on. You know, these are tough times you have to cut yourself some slack. I think one of the reasons I shared my meltdown yesterday, publicly because I just needed someone else. Besides my husband. It’s okay.
You know what, you’re human. And I tried the best I can and I tried to be a good human and I tried to learn and yada yada yada, and I am not perfect. I’m perfectly imperfect. Phil Shipley, my friend from high school. Hey Phil, Phil’s a firefighter. So thank you for your service. When I moved to wheeling, I want some of that good Greek food. I always see cooking and sharing when I’m on Facebook. A friend from high school actually Phil and I have known each other, I want to say since grade school, but then I might be wrong. Sometimes I can’t think of things. So from rose. Thank you so many good ideas. Fantastic. That makes my heart happy. I’ll check out that website. Kid mementos include baby items like birth time, I’ve got some suggestions. So birth tags for the first time today, Phil’s gonna make me some Greek food. Phil’s gonna make some Greek food so you all hold them to that we’ve known each other since kindergarten. Hi, Mrs. Abraham. I’m glad you’re enjoying watching and listening. So Rose rose. Thank you so many good ideas. I’ll check out that website kid mementos include baby items like birth tags, cards, baby clothes, toys. schoolcraft just mama Mentos. I have two adult kids, college grads and plenty saved from their lives. Just wonderful. Just live in the present, not saver. Great, great comment rose. So I have a couple thoughts. living in the present moment is your point of power to change. And that’s how you can take action and move forward. Now that is not to say that I’m saying don’t have mementos don’t have things you have to do what your comfort level is, are there a couple things that I suggest you think about? A lot of the younger generation today don’t want stuff. And so I would have a conversation with your kids like what is it that you all want? What is it that you want from this? Do you want all this stuff or should I let it go now, I always love shadow boxes, where you could create a really cool I had a child that sadly lost a baby And so she had had this box for years and had been 10 years. And we opened it to look at it. And, you know, she, at one point was able to give the crib away and went through that process. But what we did was we took she had some baby clothes, she had some hair, which thing and create a really beautiful shadow box. That is something again, maybe not right now. I think your child is your one child is in a very stressful place. And so definitely, that might be too much. But I love shadow boxes. I love creating something like that. I think that that is a good way to clear clutter but create what were the most special pieces. What are the memories, it’s most important them and when working with children, I am a huge fan of getting children’s feedback. Because what you might think is important they might think isn’t and vice versa. And when you teach children to declutter and get organized, these are skills that they’re going to take with them throughout their whole lives, I work with adults who weren’t taught these skills as children or, you know, if something might have happened in childhood really important, get the kids involved, I would not make decisions without getting them involved. Now, if they say, Mom, I don’t care and create, what it is for you, and what would make you feel good, but again, you want to be in the present moment. Honor what’s important to you, but not become overwhelmed by that. Does that make sense? Let me know if that does.
And Cheryl says,
I intend to be good to me. Awesome. It should be fun to figure out how Thank you. You’re most welcome, my friend. We’re all in this together. I’m so excited question. And, you know, I really believe when people come to these are something that even if you didn’t ask the question, hopefully it’s given you some aha and insight into something. So Pam, hey, Pam, Long time, no talk. My 21 year old says he doesn’t want anything. I’ve got a room. It’s funny. Pam, I don’t know if you’re here for my comment. But I just said, many of the younger kids today, don’t want it. They’re moving lightly. I’ve got a roomful of other stuff that I fear she will want some things later, but won’t talk about it. What do you suggest? Great question. Well, there are a couple things, maybe what you might want to do is hover over to the room and just go through some stuff. Because if I’m thinking if I were to just think of a room with a bunch of boxes, I might not want that. And so if you can go through some of the thing and say, Hey, you know, you might not realize what I have here in the room. And so why don’t we go through some things and see if it’s something you might want, and then that way that gives her an idea. Oh, well, you know, I didn’t think I’d like to say oh, well, you know, maybe I want my I don’t know what’s in your kind of things are in your room, but you know what, maybe I will Like to keep one stuffed animal from childhood. I don’t know if it’s your stuff or her stuff from childhood that you say but set aside a day, make it a mom daughter day and see what she wants. Now if she says that she doesn’t want it, then you just have to trust that you have to trust that at 21. Her mind is made up, she knows what she wants and to let the stuff go. Now as I always say, you know if you can recycle anything, if it’s in good condition, and you can donate, try not to just throw it all away, but I’d invite her and then you know, I think you can make a really interesting day out of it, share some memories, maybe some bonding time, but let her see what’s in there. And then maybe you’d like to, you know, prior to having her over maybe go unless you know already what kind of things are in there and maybe you could do like a pre thing like you know, I probably think these three or four boxes have stuff that she might be in Interested in but you know, try that have a conversation and just say, hey, just do this for me, let’s just spend one Saturday together, we’ll go out to lunch afterwards or go get ice cream or do something. But if she sees it, you know, most of us are visual. And most of us are visual learners. So, again, boxes are visual. But if I don’t know what’s in them, then that’s what I’d suggest you and let me know how that sounds to you. If that’s you think that that would be feasible, then I don’t know. Hopefully, she’s in the area to make that easier. But even if she comes home to visit, set aside, oh, my father did was have a bunch of crap here in the basement that has your name on it come and go through it. And I did. And that’s the other thing I want to say to parents is don’t become a storage unit for your kids, especially if they have their own home. Say give them like, Okay, I’m downsizing. I’m decluttering This is your stuff. Come and decide. If you want it go through it If not, it’s um letting it go and put in a
put in a deadline okay because if we don’t have a deadline then it tends not to get done and you’re still being a loving parent by saying hey, this is your stuff okay? It’s time they’ve moved on now they have maybe an apartment or in transition, you know of course be generous cut them slack especially if you have room now if you’re planning on downsizing next year, then you know I would say Okay, you know what, come on, we got to get a game plan and do something with this. Pam says great idea we can do a zoom session She’s out of state but I think that’s work awesome. So you know then when when? And from Miss Rose now that I can see the chat. I’m so excited. Row says yes, it does make sense. My adult kids have said I’ve saved too much, but that’s according to their standards. Okay, so be gentle with yourself. Another project but it’s a good idea a shadowbox from artistic teenagers a sweet idea. Do you have a baby box for him? But the school crafts and childhood mementos would work perfectly a shadow box for me fantastic. Carefully packed away till it’s safe to display good. perfect idea for me a project an homage to his childhood. I like that a lot. Yay. This makes him so happy and so wonderful me today. I just appreciate the help and love your podcasts have listened to every single one. Thank you. Thank you. You’re most welcome, Rose. Come back next week. Thank you all. Everyone who showed up today and ask questions or my comment rose Pam. Cheryl, Mrs. Abraham, Phil Shipley, my friend from kindergarten. Hey, everyone, This is part two of questions and answers. It was from the episode that I did on talking about obstacles that people face and challenges when they get started organizing at the beginning or during and so these were Questions and Answers. Hi, Rose. Great. We have a question. What is your best advice for the frugal versus decluttering dilemma? Okay, I want to talk about this and if you have any other advice or I’m sorry, any other thoughts you have share with me because I want to make sure that I’m hitting on what you think. So for frugal, I consider myself pretty frugal in some areas, and other is probably not. I would say that. One. That’s a good question. Sometimes with being frugal, not always, there is a scarcity mentality. And so I’m a firm believer in having an abundant mentality as much as possible. And again, you know, sometimes that’s not possible. If you grew up really poor. I can understand why you’d have a scarcity mentality. If you had stuff taken away from you, as a child, even if you you know, money wasn’t an issue with someone said, Hey, we’re gonna take all your stuff and clear it out. I can understand why you might be frugal and want to hold on anything. I think in that situation, you have to ask yourself, what is it costing you? You know, if you say in a marriage have one partner that’s frugal. Okay, so rose added saving things to be frugal, long term. So versus the cluttering so you have boundaries in order. Okay, that’s good. So what I would say is one thing that I say a lot to my clients is trust that you’ll get what you need when you need it. Now, of course, that’s easier said than done. But if you have stuff that you’ve been that’s been taking up space for years, and you haven’t used that, what is that costing you? And again, I would ask yourself, and anyone else in the family, so if you’re the one that’s not frugal collecting anything is costing you peace of mind. It’s causing stress in the relationship and you don’t know how affecting other people. So that is about reaching a compromise. And, and finding a middle road if you’re with someone if it’s just you being frugal, and you have to remember when you have clutter. It not only takes up physical space, but it takes up the energetic space. And so you can’t call into your life what you want and you know, this is just take a moment for self examination. What is it that maybe you wanted to start a new class and learn a new language or maybe you want to start painting again, you want to have a creative endeavor, when you have all that clutter in your life, you can’t you can’t start it energetically, everything’s really packed and that doesn’t allow room for the new stuff to go in. So if someone in what I would say is,
it might be a challenge Sala wants to be like I’m done being frugal. I am completely done and I’m going to be able to do that. So start small if you are somebody One who saves everything I know I’m bringing in the challenge can be like, I go nuts when my husband not completely nuts. But when my husband doesn’t recycle the toilet paper to, like, come on, just put it on a little window next to toilet and I’ll recycle it the next time I go out because I’m like, you need to recycle everything. So I tend to be rigid about that I’m working on that. That is, you know, so people who are green, tend to want to or frugal and tend to want to stay and reuse everything. I had a client once and she was was bordering on hoarding, and so I have a questionnaire before I always even, you know, talk to someone to make sure I’m a good fit and she wasn’t honest with me. And so I walked in the house and only did three hours together. The good news was she was had found what she was learning one particular item she’d really wanted to find, but it’s gotten to the point where her children said we’re not going to bring the grandkids over because we don’t feel safe with And so she had gone on to the hoarding website and said, Well, he said, if you have 16 inches from the wall, you’re a hoarder reminds only 15 inches. So you know, there’s that whole other thing. But one of the sirt there was a service around here where I used to live and he would take everything and he could sell we could he donate to nonprofits recycle, because it was a really great service and it was free. And he came to pick and I said, Call him he’ll take what you declutter. And so she said, You know, he wouldn’t take it. So I said, Well, let me reach out to him, I have a relationship with Him. And what he told me said, everything was junk. It had deteriorated so badly. He said, I can’t use any of it. I can’t sell it. And it because he would get he has to think with his time and money and truck and when he pays people, is it going to be worth it to him. And so in that case, it wasn’t worth it. So people agreeing tend to not everyone. I don’t want to make a blanket statement. But again, they’re so passionate about recycling and reusing and all that they tend to get in that so if something’s really rusted seemed worn out can’t be saved. You have to you don’t have to do anything. But you know, people probably aren’t going to accept it. So that’s again, taking the time. Is it a fear? What’s it a fear of, and then trying to dismantle that fear and seeing perhaps other actions that you can take to help the clutter. But if it’s one area, I think, especially if you are in a relationship, if it’s one area where you tend to be really frugal, not throw stuff away. If you’re in a relationship, you need to bounce that even if with yourself, you can say, Yeah, okay, I can live with that. But the problem get to is it everything? Does that make sense? Is that helpful? Let me know about that. Let me know if you have any other questions. I think that that’s a very good question. I know that that can cause a lot of stress. One of the things that I have that has helped me as a monitor I shared earlier, trust that I’ll get what I need when I need it. And that I think I asked myself, Well, who can get better use out of this? You know, books are the hardest things for me to give away. But I love libraries. And so I know a book that I’m letting go someone else’s. The library doesn’t have to pay for that book. And yes, and yes from rose perfect lather that was helpful. Let me know if you have any other question. But for me giving books, I know that the library doesn’t have to spend money because I’ve loved the library since I was a kid, and so that someone else can read the book. And so to me, that’s a win win. And so, maybe for clothing. in Raleigh, they have a store where you can donate clothing, and the proceeds help battered women so if you are stressed out or it’s a challenge for you to let go of your clothes, maybe you find somewhere like that, that you know, okay, my clothes, the sale, my clothes are going to help women who are battered because a lot of those times you know, those women don’t have anything might have to leave in the middle of the night with just a suitcase. So find something like that that might help motivate you, well, I’m going to help someone else or whatever your favorite charity is. So you know that what you’re doing is doing good. And supporting people. I mean, I know that that always is something that helps me. We declutter when we let go of note what no longer serves us. Not only does that
help us, but it supports other people because you are an example. Hey, look at the cluttered. Look how the energy shifted, look what I’m doing in my life. Now look what I was able to create. When you do that you show people and I believe, even though it’s usually not spoken, you give other people permission to say, ah, Rose did that now I can. And again, you might not even have a discussion about it, but that’s what motivates me to keep doing this work is to have people sharing their gifts with the world. I think that that is absolutely what is most important to me. And what what gets me excited what gets me going In the morning, I know it’s challenging time. You know, I mentioned the beginning, maybe now is not the right time for you to be the clutter and getting organized because you’re mentally spent. It’s, you know, I was thinking about it the other day. And I have one thing as I’ve gotten older is, I believe in the end more than the but. And
the example
I’ll use is because I’ve seen this floating around, you know, the greatest generation, the generation of world war two would probably be saying, Give me a break to all the people that are mentally challenged during this time. That’s a true statement, because they probably would be and instead of but can remember, but we’re like kind of stopping. But an ad says that this can also be true. Well, the people that generation didn’t live is we live today. And so it’s kind of hard to compare apples to oranges. Saying that we’re people are lame because they’re having mental challenges isn’t fair and it isn’t true because they didn’t live in the same time period. So things have changed and so just encourage you to remind you that you know, Judge less and live more. So rose says I’ve been interested in minimizing like a minimalist household, but it was too rigid. So you notice that what is your advice for good strong boundaries that minimize and make big impact, but not be will want a religion like a strict format? That many minimalist series presented? Oh, first of all, Rose, thank you because I didn’t realize I have never, I see the one. What’s his name is Josh, someone who I’ve sometimes seen his stuff pop up. And I never saw anything religious related to that. So that’s really interesting. So that’s a great question. Think that you can have gang like, if you are dealing the household that’s much different because you have other personalities and challenge and dealing with people, as opposed to just what is if it’s just you because it’s a lot easier sometimes if you don’t have You’re the only one making decisions, you don’t have to compromise and negotiate. So what I would say is, first of all, and I mentioned a few at the beginning, I talked about being rigid is one of the things that can stop people from the cluttering because you have to follow all these rules, it can get frustrating what happens when the rule doesn’t fit. The example I used was someone said to me, he only touched one piece paper once that I’ve found personally that’s not to be realistic. But if you’re trying to do something that could be just like I’m done. So what I would say is create your own set of boundaries and your own set of rules. So what does being mentalist mean to you? Because you and I I have very different things. So an example I’ll use is I love to travel. I love traveling, I love to get back home because we are kind of home bodies. But one thing when I travel is I always get Streeter. I like to support the local artists and they’re well within my budget. I’m not going to spend a bazillion dollars on art. And I love it because they capture the vibrance of wherever I am. They capture the feeling of what I’m looking for. So that’s one thing. So a minimalist in quotation might be like, Yeah, no, you have way too much artwork. And so that doesn’t work for me. And I would probably not I would not call myself a minimalist. Definitely. I declutter a lot. And I go for more and more like I have a friend that I would call minimalist. He has two bowls, two plates. I think maybe I think he is More than two glasses of two sets of silverware. I’m pretty sure I know about the bowls and plates. No, don’t do that. Like, we have people over I like cooking. I like entertaining. So I’m never gonna have two bowls and two sets everything just for my husband and me. So what I say is, you know what makes sense to you. Like for most of my art, I’m never gonna take art off the lawn. I think where I get tripped up also is when I see the minimalist stuff, it just looks bland and dark and there’s no color and I don’t know if that’s on purpose, or I just haven’t googled enough, but I don’t like that I like color. I need vibrancy. I think that that’s something important and that’s what the artwork does. And so I would I would say to you is what’s important to you. So I am not a minimalist in art. I’m trying to think so but like I mentioned at one point like I have one bookcase and that is what my parameters. I don’t want more books and fit in this case. So Areas define what being a minimalist means to you and like figure out what areas can I really be a minimalist in? Is it books?
Is it entertainment? You know I’m looking we also have a china cabinet in here and so I have a set of dishes and if I break them I’m good to go. And I have others like we have over for entertaining but I’ve had people before where I need to use just about all my dishes. So I Well, my husband would say I’m not a minimalist when it comes to cat stuff although I am I have a moratorium on cat trees. We have one cat tree per cat I believe so that was something I said okay. They have enough and I joke about that but I had to say okay, the cats have enough balls to play with. So figure out what it means to you what areas can you really be a minimalist in you know, my husband for example. When we downsize last year, he gave away a lot of tools. Cuz I think he has, he had one thing that cut times, you know, probably not going to cut tile again. But we knew where we were moving along, we’ll see where we end up as our plan is, wasn’t in the wasn’t the plan to move, but we are going to be moving next year. So he let that go. But he uses all the other stuff. So I’m like, you know, don’t give away the stuff you use. That’s kind of crazy. But he’s gotten much better at really paring that down. So if you use something or you know, I mentioned, my mom loves nutcrackers. I didn’t mention that yet. And they bring her joy. So she has a lot of nutcrackers in the home. Well, that’s okay. That’s something you put out once a year you take care of it. You know what maybe she would, she’s not interested in minimizing that, but find out define what it means to you and then set the parameters and then when it comes to making boundaries, you know, that’s what you have to you have to be consistent with your boundaries. You can’t say yes, one day and no the next you few Let your boundaries be pushed and that is a sliding boundary. It just First of all, it’s frustrating and it just causes you more headache in the future. So I would say once you make a boundary make it and then you know if you are negotiating this with a spouse or within a family, you need to get everyone on board you know, that’s when you have to have some compromising and some giving and taking maybe, you know, you want to get rid of all decorative pillows and your husband’s like, you know, well hold on I kind of like when you remove all the decorative pillows from the bedroom or the living room that just makes me feel like it’s very cold, that it’s not warm and inviting and the pillows make me feel these spaces are warm and inviting say okay, but instead of having 15, can we reduce it to 10 or whatever? And again, the more you do this, the easier it becomes and it’ll be easier to negotiate boundaries and what you’re trying to do that makes sense is that helping overwhelm the stuff. Can’t find what you need when you need it. Tired of wasting time and energy maintaining your mess. longing for peace of mind. get control of your clutter, that your clutter doesn’t control you. reclaim time, money, sanity and resources, physical clutter 365 journal prompts supports you in clearing your physical clutter. free gift purchase to support you even more in your journey to declutter your life. So rose says Yes, thank you. Negotiations of boundaries and a hybrid of strict boundaries for the triggers of too much of one categories. Great idea. Thank you. You’re more welcome. Well, good question. I like this question. Rose asks timers, do you think they’re good motivators or detractors for organizing projects. I love this because this goes back to one of my earlier points where you can easily get stuck. Because if someone reads at a time where you got to use a timer, but that doesn’t fit with you, then that can make you cranky and make you lose your sin. I’ve told you guys I see this again and again, and that’s why people call me is they start and then they lose steam or something happens. I think it really I love this question because it’s a good way to, to
check in with yourself and do right by yourself. So I would say it’s completely individualized. An example I would use is sometimes people will say to writers, you know, write 100 words a day, right? 250 words a day or whatever it is. Some days, I can read 1000 words other days. I’m struggling to put together something if you’re in the right frame. Mind you know if you’re in the flow with life so just ask and you know what if you’re like I have no clue try put on a timer for 10 minutes and see how that goes. And if you’re absorbed and lost in the moment that’s fantastic and if you’re not if you’re always looking at the clock, and maybe for instance if you work with a family on a project Okay guys, from trying our try half hour, okay, from 10 to 1030, or 10 to 11 we’re going to work on this project we know that during this time, this is where the focus has to be. Now that’s not to say like if you need to run to the bathroom say oh, you can’t go to the bathroom it sits within that time. But Sappho I need to have a sip of tea I mean, have a sip of water and you know take a moment here whatever like Hey Mom, how you doing over there? I have a question, but that you’re still working on the project, but I would say to test that out and see what if that helps you. Now I will probably get this backwards, but I remember reading this People have ADHD, I can’t remember if timers help, or they don’t. So if you, for instance, or challenge or if someone in your family challenge, maybe said because we know one thing I say is working on 10 minutes a day, that adds up to I think it’s almost 61 hours in a year. So you can account if you something for 10 minutes a day, that ends up being a huge chunk of time over a year but if you have someone who maybe who is challenged to focus that can’t sit still for half an hour, then do it and try 10 minutes and try to say okay, we’re I know you can do this. We’re going to set the timer for 10 minutes, we’re going to set the timer for five minutes and this is what I want you to work on. You know and and then go from there and see and whenever you can have a healthy reward. Do something then say if we get through this then this is what our reward is. Maybe we go for a walk outside maybe ice cream cone, maybe we play a game with family and I like rewarding myself. For bubble bath, that’s one of the easiest thing or just sitting outside. Now that I’ve worked and done a lot in the bedroom, then I was able to say, Okay, this is what I’m going to work on. This is what I’m going to do. So if I get it all done then I could say I’ve done my part. Please sit down with me. Let’s go through your dresser which will take and, and your workout clothes that are underneath the bed. That’s the only thing he’s going to have to go through in the bedroom but because I’ve done it, it’s a little clear and I start talking about that energy. my dresser isn’t I got off all the old t shirts my dresser isn’t a hot mess. And that makes it more inviting and more welcoming. For him to come and want to declutter and clear everything. Let me know rose if you have any more questions and hopefully that answered it, I know when I tend to answer things. I go on tangents and one of the things I try really hard to do here because sometimes I have a habit of I will say a And then I’ll get to eat that I’ve skipped BC and D. In my mind, I’ve gone through BC and D to get to eat but I don’t always articulate that. So hopefully I’ve done that well, but I just kind of one of the things I do when I work with clients when I do something this live coaching hours as what do people need to hear? What is it that’s most important for people to know and trust, whatever I’m led to share is going to support people. So you might not be watching live, but they might watch it later. And so trusting that they will need to hear what they need to hear of some rows all your advice today was very helpful last week, two lovely sessions. Thank you very, very much. You are more than welcome. Rose, thank you for being brave enough to share your questions and, and advice if you’re looking for because sometimes that can’t be easy. And I know definitely last week you shared some things and I’m utterly grateful for that because I believe you sharing your challenges are definitely going to help more people to seek support, find some answers and to do things. So thank you very much for that. So everyone has, again is doing the best they can. In these challenging times, try to find the opportunity to good, how you can be grateful. Know that the sun is coming. I feel like it’s peeking out from behind the clouds. Do what you can to be safe.
Do what you can to support small business, do what you can to spread love. Do we kind of check on each other love one another to the best of your abilities, and do what you can to be a helping hand to someone. We’re all in this together. And the more we realize that, the more we’ll be able to get through it, but we will see the sun shining down I promise and we’ll be able to get outside and walk again. I think we’re having a normal and I think that that’s okay. And my hope is that we’ll have a lot more good come out of this eventually.
take actions from today’s podcast. Pay attention to where you’re challenged. Think outside the box when you can consider all of organizing, and not just one part. Look at all aspects of your life to support you in decluttering and getting organized. seek support when necessary. On our next episode, we’re talking about harmoniously working together in the household. Go out clear your clutter to create the life you choose deserve and desire. When you clear your clutter, you can share your gifts with the world. Sign up for our free newsletter at reawaken your brilliance calm. If you’ve enjoyed clear your clutter inside now, please rate review and share us
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